/shrieks like a harpy, flies into the sun

[isozyme]

 told my boss of 6 years that, hey, could you call my AJ, that's what i go by these days
(it's been years, plural)

spent the whole time wanting to shout IT'S NOT A GENDER THING, DON'T TREAT ME LIKE IT'S A GENDER THING
(it's a gender thing)

JUST PLEASE CALL ME MY NAME AND DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
(don't think questions.  don't think about it at all, please, i don't want anyone to analyze. i want people to say "hi aj" not "hi [anything else]."  i want it to be invisible like everyone else's fucking name is invisible)

THIS IS NOT FOR YOU.  YOU DON'T NEED A SINGLE REASON FROM ME.  DON'T GO LOOKING FOR EXPLANATIONS.  FOR YOU, THIS IS NOT A GENDER THING.  

"you must be the new rotation student, hi, bailey, right?"
"hi! are you allison"
"yeah, i'm AJ"
wait, no, that response didn't make sense
and there's coworkers around who don't know who AJ is
and i don't talk about this, i never talk about this
but i'm not introducing myself as anything else anymore, it's a reflex, it's my name --
"sorry my name is [that other thing] but i go by AJ"
and maybe the coworkers will just pick it up and i won't have to FUCKING DO THIS FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM

IT'S JUST A THING.  AN UNMARKED THING.  A NO-INFORMATION THING.  VERY BORING.
it's just my fucking name, leave me alone, fuck.

hell.
imma smoke a bowl and write some absolutely FILTHY lesbian fucking, and anyone who wants to stop me can eat my whole goddamn ass.

Comments

[isozyme]

YOU KNOW I DID